Sunday Offering
If I have learned anything in this long life of mine, it is this: as we mature we find out who we want to be; in suffering, we find out who we are. As always, I find myself thinking about my past, and about the people I lost. And all too soon, it is my turn to be gone, to be someone’s lost person.
I know the grief of losing a person, to have lost parents and a son too young! They are gone. I stand on this side of the sod, with a broken heart for those who are gone. If I could but have ten minutes more with my son; what I would not give to kiss my mother’s soft cheeks, to be a comfort to her, to tell my dad he was the best. If only! Yet, I have reached that point in life, despite shaky hands, forgetfulness, loss of hearing, I can rejoice in what was and what is yet to be.
I am sitting in a cabin in Vermont after hiking 160 miles on the Appalachian Trail on a rainy day with a need to gather my lost persons whose bones gave me life. I wrote about my southern ancestors in my book, Spirit in the South, as grief “work” after my son Scott died. I gathered the bones of Norwegian ancestors in The Spirit Runner manuscript, soon to be in print. Now, I gather bones once again, bones of my mother’s German ancestors for those who follow me. This is a book of the German spirit I inherited from my mother.
Life was difficult having a mother with epilepsy. It was a family secret we did not discuss. I certainly did not tell the secret to my best friends. With many warnings, “Don’t upset your mother, she could have a spell,” the fear transferred to God. Imagine! Just imagine what would happen if God had a spell. Being a sensitive young girl, I learned to be afraid of conflict. I remember being nurtured, but fear outweighed courage under duress. How did I survive?
Good bones. I have good bones. Strong bones. And somewhere in my DNA, was a burning passion for babies. I loved my babies. In the mix of inheriting a love of babies, my DNA is bursting with zeal for education. Bouncing babies while balancing an undergraduate degree, two master's degrees, two doctorates, and numerous certifications was a challenge. My DNA is hard-wired to take a course and cuddle babies. The credit goes to God, good DNA in my bones, and my mother’s spirit.
Miller Time: Rose’s Story
Rose Arlene Miller was born on 3 June 1920 in Northwood, Iowa, to Coy Clifton Miller and Ruby Anna King Miller. Ruby’s father, Coy Clifton Miller, was a dispatcher on the railroad and her mother was a telegraph operator. The young family must have moved south shortly after her birth, because of there is a photo of the baby Rose being held by her grandmother in Mena, Arkansas before they settled into their new home in Ennis, Texas. A sister, Betty Jean, was born 14 May 1923 in Ennis, followed by the birth of another daughter, JoAnn Miller, on 8 August 1928.
Rose was twelve, Betty was nine and JoAnn was a toddler when they lost their mother. The untimely, devastating death of their beloved mama, Ruby Anna King Miller, impacted the young Miller sisters immensely, forever changing family life a sense of security. Coy Miller lost his soul mate and his work in the midst of the depression. After an attempt to keep the family together, the girls were sent to live with their paternal aunt Reatha Miller Looney and her husband Judge James Looney in Mena, Arkansas. The move to Arkansas was a temporary solution; adding three motherless, grief-stricken children, to a large household with four children, especially during the dark and difficult days of the depressed South, was too challenging to last longer than a year.
Rose, especially, struggled because she was manifesting symptoms of an illness that was frightening to her and those around her. About the time of her mother’s death, while yet living in Ennis, Texas, she had been hit in the back of the head with a miniature golf club and spent several days in a Dallas hospital with a concussion. In Mena, when she began having petit mal seizures, her aunt Retha thought she was trying to get attention and punished Rose by locking her in a closet. Rose had her first Grand Mal seizure playing girls basketball in Mena. The name for the malady was “fits” or “spells.” It would be the beginning of a lifetime of esteem issues. The move to Northwood, Iowa followed soon afterward. Ruby’s mother Anna King Painter and Rena King, Ruby’s sister drove to Arkansas to bring them to Northwood, Iowa to live where Gramma Anna would become a second mother to Rose and her sisters.
The story of the “spells” and the seizure followed Rose to the Board of Education in Northwood. Initially, they refused to allow Rose to enter school (the eighth grade). Her step-grandfather J. L. Painter was a member of the school board who insisted she be allowed at least to test; she passed high school admittance exams with such high scores they placed her as a freshman in high school, skipping the eighth grade at age 14. She did not have any Grand Mal seizures during the four years of high school. Rose graduated with the Class of 1937 at age 17.
Rose, green-eyed and very pretty, was welcomed and sought after; she charmed the boys with her delightful southern accent. During her high school years, she wore a tam or beret to school every day because it was the last Christmas gift she had received from her mother before she passed away. She played girls basketball and went out for track. Her senior year she attracted the attention of a classmate’s older brother, Paul or Ole Vold, depending on who was talking about him. Close friends and family nicknamed him Paul. People in the community called him Little Ole. Paul/Ole’s sister, Frances Vold (Meyer) claimed to be the match-maker for the two delivering notes back and forth. They began dating the spring of her senior year. After graduation, Rose went to El Paso, Texas to live with her dad, Coy Miller; Gramma Anna King Painter convinced Ole/Paul to go to Texas and propose. He did and she accepted, but they told no one.
On October 5, 1937, Rose and: Ole/Paul, were on a car ride with friends when they decided to elope in Cresco, Iowa. According to the marriage record: The State of Iowa issued Marriage License: SO242548. Witnesses to the Marriage: Mr. and Mrs. Gilmore Halland. The license application states First Marriage for Both; Groom's parents: Carl O. Vold and Susan Turvold; Brides Parents: C.C. Miller and Ruby King; September 5, 1937.; Officiant, Rev. C.E. Jarun. Cresco, Iowa.
Rose and Ole had the first of three daughters, Cynthia Annette, in Northwood when Gramma
Anna Schulz King Painter passed away in 1941, Rose and Ole moved first to El Paso, Texas, then to Tucson, Arizona while Ole worked for the railroad with his father-in-law. The family transferred to Dunsmuir, California. Cynthia Vold has memories of Dunsmuir where the streets all run up the mountain. Grandpa Miller come to the house calling out , “16 to Gerber, “ meaning the #16 train from Shasta to
Bonnie Sue Vold was born in Dunsmuir, California. . It was during this pregnancy Rose Miller Vold had her second Grand Mal seizure. When Bonnie was six months old the family returned to Northwood. The family stayed in Grandparent's Vold household for several months, with Rose and Baby Bonnie sleeping downstairs, Cynthia and her dad sleeping in the very cold upstairs under a horsehair blanket.
The birth of Merrilee Vold followed eighteen months later in the house across the street from the old elementary school in Northwood. Cynthia and Bonnie heard the birth cry but continued to enjoy themselves pouring out a bag of sugar on the play table. Mrs. Conn (Bess) Olson, the nurse/caregiver, was not happy with her little charges. With three daughters in the family, Ervin/Ole/Paul received a draft notice but he escaped duty.
During WWII it was a time of heightened drama children did not understand. Blackouts, listening to the radio under a blanket were frightening to children. Little wonder that strange noise in the basement proved scary until the source revealed was a new cocker spaniel puppy named Duke.
1946 – The young family purchased a home on the east side of Northwood (now the Village Florist). Rose’s Petit Mal and Grand Mal “spells” increased. Cynthia recalls fetching Mrs. Fredrickson from across the street to call Dr. Allison inviting her mother’s anger for telling anyone.
Memories of life in that house abound. A good time was had by all of the survivors! Cynthia proved she was not a good baby sitter when she took 18-month-old Merrilee to the sandpit to go swimming and got a sound whipping from a very frightened mother Rose. Independent young girls at an early age, they invited the neighbors to celebrate their parent’s wedding anniversary without telling the parents or arranging food. Rose and Ole rolled up the rug and the gathered group jitterbugged to music on the radio. Those were the days of playtime in the attic dressing up to put on shows; playing paper dolls with imaginary friends “Mrs. Kodakee and Mrs. Emmasaw.” Cynthia and Bonnie dragged little Merrilee out of her crib to accompany them to the bathroom at night because an outside branch cast an eerie shadow on the window shade.
1948 – The Volds purchased the Satterlee house on Eighth Street South. They owned this home until Rose and Ole/Paul/Ervin moved to Glendale, California in 1958.
1952- The Vold family traveled with Aunt Fran and Uncle Si Meyer to Elko, Nevada to visit Rose’s father, Coy Miller, and cousin Clark who was living with Coy, before traveling onto Sacramento to see Betty and “Wac” (George Francis) and their daughter Laura Gay. The Vold family took the bus to Los Angles to see Aunts Rose and Ruth, going through Burbank during an earthquake; Aunt Fran and Uncle Si brought them home to Iowa. The California seed was planted.
1957 – The Volds sold their Eighth Street South home in Northwood and moved to Glendale, California. Rose went to college and then nurses training to become an RN, an awesome accomplishment for the intelligent, creative woman who lived under the stress and duress of being found on the streets during an epileptic seizure, put in a straitjacket and taken to a hospital.
1962 – Rose’s beloved daddy had a fatal heart attack in Mena, Arkansas. She was bereft. During this time in California, she was treated with two kinds of medications to treat both kinds of seizures. She lost all interest in returning to Northwood to visit old friends for a time.
1977 – Ervin/Ole/Paul contracted lung cancer and passed away on 1 November 1977.
Reprinted from the program of the 50th Reunion of the Class of 1934 - 1984 - Written by Richard 'Bud' Johnson:
" After graduation, Irving worked at Urdahl and Vold's Store, Painter Chemical Co. and the Worth Co. Co-op. Oil having his own tank wagon business until 1957 when they moved to California. Irving and Rose Arlene Miller were married in 1937. They were the parents of three daughters, Cynthia Forde who has five children; Bonnie Baker who has two children; Merrilee Reid who has two children. Rose died February 10, 1984, of heart failure. In California, Irving worked for the Los Angeles School system as a regional supervisor in the electrical engineering department. Irving enjoyed hunting and also woodworking. When he was in Northwood, he enjoyed many winning many championships in bowling. He served in the volunteer fire department for many years. Irving died on November 1, 1977, of lung cancer. To say that he is missed by his many friends is a tribute to his life. Irving's daughters said that in his heart, Northwood was always home."
10 February 1984, Rose Arlene Miller Vold passed away as the result of an epileptic seizure.
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